Houses with Wheels

I have lived in many different styles of residence throughout my life, including what I refer to as houses with wheels.  I have mentioned in the past that I had issues with these, one of which was the utter freedom with which creepy crawlies could infiltrate my domicile.  Thought of a funny example the other day, cause remember, I am currently living in a 32-foot RV.  Call it a funny way for bringing back memories, but I was watching a livestream of my favorite gaming community, Neebs Gaming, and everyone in live chat started laughing about encountering spiders in the worst places.  From there, my mind went spinning backward to approximately 10 years ago…

I remember it being summertime, due to the fact that the heat was the cause for all our doors and windows being ajar.  My middle daughter and I had been out running errands, and I was the first to race to the bathroom!  I lived with a teenager, so I mean race!  I thought I had scored a big win as I sat down to do ma thang, but looking to the side for the toilet paper, I changed perspectives really quick!  Resting in comfort, directly upon my needed paper, was the biggest Wolf spider I had met, and there had been many (for another story).  I am not even going to attempt describing the absolute animalistic form I took while extracting myself from close proximity to the little demon. But I did make it to the bathroom door, just as my daughter arrived to investigate.  Later she told me it sounded like the toilet had fallen through the floor (another story for later). 

I came up with the brilliant idea for dispatching the offending predator.  We were going to hit it with my running shoe from the doorway, that way there would be no one close enough to be eaten.  It sounded like a plan for heroic success and my daughter fully supported me, as I was the one with the shoe, and she was safely behind me.  The best way for me to explain it is to go play by play here…

I flung that running shoe with the expertise of a pro ball player, aiming directly for the roll of toilet paper, where the ravenous creature was planning our demise

Upon contact, both the running shoe… and the spider… came flying in slow motion back at us

We both screamed, tripped over each other, ran into the bathroom door, slamming ourselves into the same room with a man-eating demon intent on consuming us both…

Don’t be scared, it’s ok!  We got out!

Needless to say, my husband came home to find a broken bathroom door, a child busy texting our near-death experience to her friends, and a wife sporting a small doorjamb impression on her cheek, with a tale to tell…